Skip to main navigation Skip to main content Skip to footer For Medicare For Providers For Brokers For Employers Español For Individuals & Families: For Individuals & Families Medical Dental Other Supplemental Explore coverage through work How to Buy Health Insurance Types of Dental Insurance Open Enrollment vs. Special Enrollment See all topics Shop for Medicare plans Member Guide Find a Doctor Log in to myCigna
Home Knowledge CenterCauses of Loneliness in a Marriage or Relationship

Common Causes of Loneliness in a Relationship

Learn about the signs and causes of loneliness in a relationship and how to cope.

Did you know that loneliness can occur even if you’re in a relationship? Just because you are married or dating someone doesn’t exclude you from the possibility of feeling lonely. What are the main causes for loneliness in a relationship and what are some ways you can deal with it?

Is it normal to feel lonely in a relationship?

Feelings of loneliness can happen to anyone and at any point in their lives, in or out of a relationship. If you’re feeling lonely in a marriage or relationship, it may be time to consider the reasons why and recognize the signs of a lonely relationship.

What are the signs of loneliness in a relationship?

Loneliness is a sense of feeling disconnected, isolated, and disengaged from others. In terms of loneliness in a relationship, these feelings would apply to your spouse or partner. Feel lonely even when you’re in the same room with them? Feeling lonely during an evening of watching TV with your significant other is not the same as feeling lonely all the time. Ongoing feelings of disconnection and disengagement from your partner may be the sign that you’re in a lonely relationship.

What causes a lonely relationship?

Here are some of the factors that can lead to feeling lonely in a marriage or relationship:

  • Intimacy fizzles: Some relationships just lose their spark. If you feel a loss of connection and affection, you may be left simply going through the motions. Intimacy plays a big part in getting deeply connected. Without this connection to your partner, you may begin to feel a sense of isolation and separation, which may lead to feelings of loneliness.
  • Incompatibility: Couples who get together and ultimately find they are not compatible may end up in a dead-end relationship. Resentment, intolerance, impatience, and unhappiness can replace what was once possibly a blissful existence. If you end up in a relationship like this, loneliness could be among the emotions and feelings that bubble up to the surface.
  • Distance and physical separation: When a spouse or partner is away for long periods whether due to military service or work, the physical separation may lead to one or both partners suffering with loneliness.
  • Health problems: Feelings of loneliness may occur in relationships where a spouse or partner is dealing with a chronic illness, battling a serious disease, or is even hospitalized.
  • Emotional issues: Issues like substance use and depression can introduce loneliness into the relationship. It’s important that your health care provider, a therapist, or counselor is engaged. They can help address all factors of the relationship, including the causes and effects.
  • Physical or emotional abuse: Any kind of abuse in a relationship can certainly lead to loneliness, but it can also lead to depression, substance use, and injury, as well. If there is abuse occurring now or in the past, please talk to your health care provider, a counselor, or therapist about it.

How to deal with feelings of loneliness in a relationship?

If you’re feeling like you’re all by yourself in your relationship, consider these tips:

  • Talk to your partner or spouse: It’s important to let them know how you feel. You and your partner or spouse may be able to work together for the good of the relationship. For example, maybe it’s time to plan a weekend getaway, or a date night. Even a walk in the park together could help relieve a sense of loneliness. Carve out even a small chunk of time to focus attention on each other.
  • Spend some time among friends or family: Just because you are lonely in your relationship, doesn’t necessarily mean you feel lonely when you’re among friends or loved ones. If the company of others helps ease your lonely relationship, then make plans to do things with others. See if these moments of connectedness can help ease your feelings of loneliness with your partner or spouse.
  • Talk to a couples’ counselor: It may be that your relationship just needs some TLC. If your partner’s willing, some therapy time with a couples’ counselor may help you and your partner explore what could be contributing to loneliness in the relationship or marriage. A therapist may even suggest ways to work past it.
  • Get involved outside your relationship: Maybe spending less time around your spouse or partner can help ease feeling of loneliness and actually help the relationship. Volunteer opportunities, hobby clubs, running, biking, and workout groups, are all possible ways to focus your energies elsewhere and bring enjoyment to your life, outside the scope of your relationship.

There are many other tips to try if you’re working on overcoming loneliness.

If you’re struggling in a relationship that seems lonely, tending to your emotional and physical health is important. Only you know whether the relationship is worth it. Find ways to communicate with others—your partner, friends, family, counselor, or therapist—and try some of the options for working through relationship loneliness.

Tags

Relationships Sadness

Related

How to Deal with Loneliness: 5 Ways to Stop Feeling Lonely Signs and Symptoms of Chronic Loneliness How to Be Happy Every Day with These 10 Simple Tips

Back to Knowledge Center

What To Do if you Feel Lonely in Your Relationship, Women's Health, January 18, 2021, https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a34967286/feeling-lonely-in-relationship/

Are You Married But Lonely? Psychology Today, June 1, 2020,https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/202006/are-you-married-lonely

This information is for educational purposes only. It is not medical advice. Always consult your doctor for appropriate examinations, treatment, testing, and care recommendations. Any third party content is the responsibility of such third party. Cigna does not endorse or guarantee the accuracy of any third party content and is not responsible for such content. Your access to and use of this content is at your sole risk.

Page Footer

I want to...

Get an ID card File a claim View my claims and EOBs Check coverage under my plan See prescription drug list Find an in-network doctor, dentist, or facility Find a form Find 1095-B tax form information View the Cigna Glossary Contact Cigna

Audiences

Individuals and Families Medicare Employers Brokers Providers

Secure Member Sites

myCigna member portal Health Care Provider portal Cigna for Employers Client Resource Portal Cigna for Brokers

Cigna Company Information

About Cigna Company Profile Careers Newsroom Investors Suppliers Third Party Administrators International Evernorth

 Cigna. All rights reserved.

Privacy Legal Product Disclosures Cigna Company Names Customer Rights Accessibility Non-Discrimination Notice Language Assistance [PDF] Report Fraud Sitemap

Disclaimer

Individual and family medical and dental insurance plans are insured by Cigna Health and Life Insurance Company (CHLIC), Cigna HealthCare of Arizona, Inc., Cigna HealthCare of Illinois, Inc., Cigna HealthCare of Georgia, Inc., Cigna HealthCare of North Carolina, Inc., Cigna HealthCare of South Carolina, Inc., and Cigna HealthCare of Texas, Inc. Group health insurance and health benefit plans are insured or administered by CHLIC, Connecticut General Life Insurance Company (CGLIC), or their affiliates (see a listing of the legal entities that insure or administer group HMO, dental HMO, and other products or services in your state). Accidental Injury, Critical Illness, and Hospital Care plans or insurance policies are distributed exclusively by or through operating subsidiaries of Cigna Corporation, are administered by Cigna Health and Life Insurance Company, and are insured by either (i) Cigna Health and Life Insurance Company (Bloomfield, CT); (ii) Life Insurance Company of North America (“LINA”) (Philadelphia, PA); or (iii) New York Life Group Insurance Company of NY (“NYLGICNY”) (New York, NY), formerly known as Cigna Life Insurance Company of New York. The Cigna name, logo, and other Cigna marks are owned by Cigna Intellectual Property, Inc. LINA and NYLGICNY are not affiliates of Cigna.

All insurance policies and group benefit plans contain exclusions and limitations. For availability, costs and complete details of coverage, contact a licensed agent or Cigna sales representative. This website is not intended for residents of New Mexico.

Selecting these links will take you away from Cigna.com to another website, which may be a non-Cigna website. Cigna may not control the content or links of non-Cigna websites. Details